- "I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar."
- "I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light."
- "Friends should be like books, few, but hand-selected."
The Social Thing- of handbags & diamonds
‘A Social Cause’There are sniggers in the kitchen ~ " bahot comedy hota hai jab bhi Madam party se wapis aata hai , Saab to chuha ka mafik newspaper ka peechhey chhup kar baith gayaa hai!" ~ Rosie's merriment would have increased vastly, had she viewed Madam Dudlani fuming smoke from her ears and jiggling her prosperity-laden love handles in frustrated fury! Their entire NY luxury trip had lost its flavour. The evening had turned a painful 'flop'! She'd waved her hands in all variety of dance 'mudras' to display the rock sized adornment on her finger, with mention of "Tiffany" at every drop of a sentence, the applause and envy she'd dreamed of had been rudely upstaged by Silky Sood’s new silver-mauve acquisition glinting brazenly in the drive. She couldn't pronounce 'Lamborghini' but had that stopped her from tom-tomming reference to the cussed object? The Dudlani's evening had turned murkily sour! Paul the driver summed up the evening –"Aapan-log much jolly! Ek Sunday mutton curry, ek Sunday chicken curry, ek Sunday fish curry, ek Sunday 'aeig'-curry, phir salary- day and 'fiqar-not' ka bottle! Kamti paisa, kamti tension!" This little scene is a reflection of the times that are. And of the aspirational, amorphous section of Mumbai life, called "Society".
So what’s the philosophy of our times? It is well recognized that this same ‘society’ bow’s well to the well-endowed! Never mind how the ‘well-endowed’ Mr. Money-bags acquired the stuff. His last summer holiday could have been at the most ‘prestigious’ Tihar Jail, but so long as he’s got the props he’s welcomed with open arms. And this society is the self-appointed code setter of ‘where you will live; what you should wear; how you should live; where you must holiday; what sport you should play; how equipped you are with salon cars, yachts, watches, international brands, what you should do and more importantly what you must not do.
I'm wondering, with the recently announced Bharat Ratna for Atalbihariji, they overlooked the spectacular achievements of one Mr. Yadav of U.P? His stupendous talents in conjuring up hundreds of thousands of crores (gasp!!) as a govt. engineer baffles. Mumbai society too lives the mantra. You got it you flaunt it. You aint got it you still flaunt it's appurtenances as though you've got it. You can’t make it then fake it, mortgage, beg, borrow or import container loads of fakes from China. Your red blood cell count is directly proportionate to your neighbor's green complexion! And you are nobly doing your bit of national level economic social service. Banks, institutions and related bodies pay their dazzling salaries to staff on your overdrafts, loans and mortgages! 
I'm wondering about those times of when Bombay boasted a cosmopolitan, cultural, more genteel, achievement oriented elite. The kinds that read books than the carats on a diamond alone, and attended theater, that spent the afternoon at Jehangir art gallery. A breed soon to be relegated to dinosaur era. Time was, they could patronizingly deride Delhi and its emphasis on crass ostentatious, nouveau riche culture. I so clearly recall a Bombayite, telling a Deli-ite who had built an outrageous, tasteless, monument of a house - "all that is lacking in your house Mr Bubbar, is wall-papering it with thousand rupee notes!” Today the description could be swapped to fit Mumbai more aptly.TROUBLED MARRIAGES ARE BEST GIVEN A MISS SOMETIMES
A childhood friend who got married before any of us friends within our school batch, seemed to be having some marital problems fairly early on in her relationship. Her parents urged the couple to go in for marriage counselling. Teething problems we all thought. And yet somewhere some instinct had told me it ran deeper. They patched it up- to the relief of the parents -who were very keen not to cut a sorry figure in their ‘community’. A brood of kids followed and all seemed okay until recently many years down the line I received a cryptic message about ‘being treated like a maid’ and verbal and mental abuse. I was shocked. Nothing had changed? She was the passive suffering victim of violence through all these precious years?
Often the woman in a marriage is ridden rough shod upon because she is not the bread winner and the contribution she makes in terms of cooking, cleaning and generally being the ‘fall guy’ for kids, in-laws and family is taken very much for granted. There is no value for the sacrifices she has made and her husband is oblivious to her needs and desires. He feels that any kindness ‘bestowed’ upon her is a favor.
I recognized this from the experiences of many friends from school and college who got married to dominating men that wanted a ‘housewife’ to keep home and hearth. The statistic is higher when women give themselves up headlong into the chores of marriage -giving up all financial independence and cutting down drastically on personal pursuits of happiness.
